HALFTIME DETOX: WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE IN YOUR FIRST HALF – PART 1

10/25/2012

By Rod Stewart, Certified Halftime Coach

I’ve spent the last year detoxing from an intensive 30 year career. I’m taking the time to heal before I pursue a second half with more meaning, joy and impact.

A few years before I left corporate life, my Halftime coach told me that I was not likely thinking clearly and that I should anticipate a detox process as I transitioned. Now I understand what he was talking about. There were some heart issues that I could not see. I want to encourage you to explore these even before they are visible to you. Here are four issues I have been detoxing from:

1.      Being driven vs. called – several years ago my wife told me that I had become a workaholic. I didn’t believe it until she recounted my life over the past few years: one-hundred days a year of travel, running our division in Japan, 5:00am meetings, weekend work, serving on the Elder Board in my church, and yet I was joyless, anxious and driven. I could not see what was driving me. Why do I work so hard and sacrifice so much? Past emotional pain, family of origin issues, especially in relation to our earthly fathers, can create controlling drives. In a 24/7 demanding professional life, rarely do we have the emotional energy or skill to deal with these. This inner drive controlled me, but success did not satisfy it – in fact, it left me drained and vulnerable.

2. My addiction to performance – my initial response to reading the Halftime book and attending a Halftime Institute event was excitement at the prospect of doing something ‘big’ for God. I thought I could take my talent, drive and business experience into the non-profit world, working with the same driven styleand gain greater peace and soul satisfaction. Without recalibrating my need to perform, I risk just trading currency – money for significance. Competing and winning can be a good thing, but it was robbing me of inner peace and joy, knowing that God loves me just for being me. I thought God needed me, but I am discovering that instead he wants my heart and an intimacy that I didn’t think was possible.

3.A shrinking heart – I distinctly remember winning a big account and feeling nothing. No up, no down, just dead. I would walk in nature that used to make me feel euphoria at God’s beauty, but now I felt nothing. I had no passion for anything except escape. I didn’t’ have the time or emotional bandwidth to slow down long enough to understand what was going on inside.

4. Putting my health at risk – I have never been overweight, but stress caught up with me. When I did take vacations, I found it easier to stay connected to the office every day, take calls from work and stay up on my email. I never really let down for 10 years. I knew deep down inside, that it was slowly destroying my physical health. I experienced repeated bouts of flu-like symptoms and depression that were triggered by stressful events. I was living on adrenaline and didn’t know how to stop. Today my body is slowly rebounding after many months of good counsel, prayer and rest.

So how did I get here? I couldn’t see how much all my winning was costing me. I honestly didn’t believe I could take enough time off from the daily grind to do an emotional and spiritual inventory. That would have to wait ‘till I retired. But you can stop and take stock – and you must!

The good news is that God is eager to heal and restore you to the real you – if you will intentionally take the time. A Halftime coach might help.

 

In next week’s blog, I’ll share five things I’ve learned that you can begin to do now to detox before it costs you something priceless.

Halftime Detox, Part 2 – What does it really mean to detox at Halftime – physically, spiritually and emotionally?
Halftime Detox, Part 3 – Cooperating with God’s Transformation of your Heart

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