Time for Your Loved Ones

Volumes have been written on managing and maintaining relationships with those we love. When I am asked by my clients how I would approach sustaining these relationships, it’s simple: time. Investing time into the relationships of our loved ones is a simple, yet effective way of showing we care.

So when seeking for a good model who demonstrated this investment, I think of Jesus. But how did He do it?

Jesus invested His life, time, and ministry primarily into twelve men – a small fraction of the many He influenced while He was here on Earth. Following His lead, we can learn the importance of pursuing fewer, yet deeper relationships.

As a Halftime coach, I have heard from many of my clients their struggle to find the time for their loved ones.

Here are a few tips I give my clients that have led to amazing breakthroughs:

1. Be Sure Your Relationships Reflect Your Best Values: Consider each of your relationships with these three facets in mind: your values, your motivations for forming a deeper relationship, and potential advantages or disadvantages of doing so. On a practical note, one of our Halftime Coaches actually makes a list of the ten most important people in his life that he wants to love well and updates the list at least once each year. He is clarifying in writing who is most important in his life to ensure they get the best of him. Do you have a clear sense of which relationships you should focus on?

2. Limit Access to Yourself: In order to allow time for those you love most, you often must restrict your time with others. Unfortunately, these may be some of the most demanding people in your life. This is where boundaries come into play. Be intentional about who has access to you and when. This can also mean taking control of interruptions. Some simple strategies for this include turning your cell phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ periodically, letting some calls go to voicemail, learning to say no, ensuring inbound emails don’t dictate your workday, and setting firm boundaries with those who will take advantage of your attention.

3. Leave Room to Grow: God often uses relationships as a tool to teach us certain lessons. We learn to grow, change and mature from others through our experiences with them. And as we deepen those connections, each person may change. It’s important then to acknowledge these differences, who brings these differences out of us, and know when a relationship is best left to let go and give them the room to grow on their own. Sometimes by giving a relationship over to God keeps us from holding on too tightly to outcomes. It allows us to pay attention to where God may be re-directing us.

4. Consider Leverage: Take a moment to consider that Jesus invested deeply in twelve people. Twelve. Then, from that deep investment, those twelve people were responsible for spreading the gospel far and wide, birthing the modern Church. There are leaders in your life who, if invested in, could yield considerable dividends – in faith, in business, in social impact. Who in your life would be the most leveraged investment of your time? Your children? A young junior employee at work? Take a moment to truly consider how to make a leveraged investment of your time.


Ask yourself these questions:

  •  What relationships are most important to me?
  • Who needs more of my time and focus?
  • Where do I need to limit access? How can I structure my time accordingly?
  • Looking out into the future – where is the most leveraged investment of my time?

Talk through these questions with a loved one and discern ways you can better invest your time into these relationships.

If you’d like to go deeper into ensuring your most important relationships thrive, having a coach could be beneficial. Check out the Fellows Program and Halftime One on One Program to see if that’s just what you need. As Halftime Certified Coaches, it is our joy to help clients have confidence that their time, talent, and resources are focused on what matters most.

We are here to help you get clear, get free, and get going.

Wishing you a fruitful season in each of your most important relationships.

Carolyn Castleberry Hux
Carolyn Castleberry Hux is a Certified Professional Coach with a PCC credential and author with Simon & Schuster and Random House. She is the Managing Member of the International Possibility Organization, IPO LLC, helping teams and individuals create transformational change for positive outcomes.

In media, Carolyn contributes business segments to FOX News. She is a former television news anchor in Virginia and Colorado, and co-host for Living the Life on ABC Family Channel.

 Carolyn’s work has been featured on FOX & Friends, USAToday.com, MSN Money, Essence magazine, and major newspapers and radio programs in the U.S. and Canada. She hosted the first national radio talk show for female executives on the Business Radio Network, “Women Talk Business,” which was recognized by the American Women in Radio and Television. Carolyn worked as a financial advisor with Series 7 and 66 registrations. Her books include, Women, Take Charge of Your Money: A Biblical Path to Financial Security and Women, Get Answers about Your Money: because there are no dumb questions about personal finance.

In ministry, Carolyn serves as a Certified Halftime Coach working one-on-one with leaders to help them invest their second half of life where it matters most. Her book, It's About Time: 10 Smart Strategies to Avoid Time Traps and Invest Yourself Where it Matters provides strategies for maximum impact and significance. She and her team also developed multimedia projects including the audiobook, More than Enough,with Life Today. She has served in leadership roles for ministries serving Asia and Latin America. 

Carolyn holds three degrees: two Bachelor of Science degrees in Business and Journalism from the University of Colorado, and a Master of Arts degree in Government from the College of William and Mary. Carolyn lives with her husband in Virginia Beach and, as a blended family, has five children, ages 22-35.