Time for Your Loved Ones

Volumes have been written on managing and maintaining relationships with those we love. When I am asked by my clients how I would approach sustaining these relationships, it’s simple: time. Investing time into the relationships of our loved ones is a simple, yet effective way of showing we care.

So when seeking for a good model who demonstrated this investment, I think of Jesus. But how did He do it?

Jesus invested His life, time, and ministry primarily into twelve men – a small fraction of the many He influenced while He was here on Earth. Following His lead, we can learn the importance of pursuing fewer, yet deeper relationships.

As a Halftime coach, I have heard from many of my clients their struggle to find the time for their loved ones.

Here are a few tips I give my clients that have led to amazing breakthroughs:

1. Be Sure Your Relationships Reflect Your Best Values: Consider each of your relationships with these three facets in mind: your values, your motivations for forming a deeper relationship, and potential advantages or disadvantages of doing so. On a practical note, one of our Halftime Coaches actually makes a list of the ten most important people in his life that he wants to love well and updates the list at least once each year. He is clarifying in writing who is most important in his life to ensure they get the best of him. Do you have a clear sense of which relationships you should focus on?

2. Limit Access to Yourself: In order to allow time for those you love most, you often must restrict your time with others. Unfortunately, these may be some of the most demanding people in your life. This is where boundaries come into play. Be intentional about who has access to you and when. This can also mean taking control of interruptions. Some simple strategies for this include turning your cell phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ periodically, letting some calls go to voicemail, learning to say no, ensuring inbound emails don’t dictate your workday, and setting firm boundaries with those who will take advantage of your attention.

3. Leave Room to Grow: God often uses relationships as a tool to teach us certain lessons. We learn to grow, change and mature from others through our experiences with them. And as we deepen those connections, each person may change. It’s important then to acknowledge these differences, who brings these differences out of us, and know when a relationship is best left to let go and give them the room to grow on their own. Sometimes by giving a relationship over to God keeps us from holding on too tightly to outcomes. It allows us to pay attention to where God may be re-directing us.

4. Consider Leverage: Take a moment to consider that Jesus invested deeply in twelve people. Twelve. Then, from that deep investment, those twelve people were responsible for spreading the gospel far and wide, birthing the modern Church. There are leaders in your life who, if invested in, could yield considerable dividends – in faith, in business, in social impact. Who in your life would be the most leveraged investment of your time? Your children? A young junior employee at work? Take a moment to truly consider how to make a leveraged investment of your time.


Ask yourself these questions:

  •  What relationships are most important to me?
  • Who needs more of my time and focus?
  • Where do I need to limit access? How can I structure my time accordingly?
  • Looking out into the future – where is the most leveraged investment of my time?

Talk through these questions with a loved one and discern ways you can better invest your time into these relationships.

If you’d like to go deeper into ensuring your most important relationships thrive, having a coach could be beneficial. Check out the Fellows Program and Halftime One on One Program to see if that’s just what you need. As Halftime Certified Coaches, it is our joy to help clients have confidence that their time, talent, and resources are focused on what matters most.

We are here to help you get clear, get free, and get going.

Wishing you a fruitful season in each of your most important relationships.

Carolyn Castleberry Hux
Carolyn Castleberry Hux has more than 25 years of experience in business journalism and is a nationally recognized author with Simon & Schuster and Random House on time and money management. For the last several years, she has worked in financial services with prominent national firms.

Carolyn’s halftime call came in the mid-2000’s when she walked away from a successful career as a newscaster to balance family and search for significance in her work life. What followed was a decade-long ride of great experiences in ministry and the corporate world, along with excruciating trials. Carolyn paid the “dumb tax,” ending up in places and positions - with well-intentioned people – that were the wrong fit. Thankfully, God’s grace won the day and the decade.

These challenges led Carolyn to the season of Halftime and a more thoughtful, process-driven approach to discerning God’s call. Her mission is to empower leaders for Christ in a safe, non-judgmental, protected environment to create enduring impact for the Kingdom. Carolyn is also excited to be part of Halftime Institute’s Women’s Initiative, as some women have expressed feeling “put out to pasture when they reach age 50.” No more.

Carolyn lives with her husband in Virginia Beach and raised 3 children who are now in their twenties and thirties.