Our professional success often costs us in other areas of life. Perhaps we were gone a lot for business, or when we were home our minds were wrapped up with the challenges of our career. Now, as we slow down and reflect, we realize that unless we dedicate ourselves to our families, our ministry is not likely to be sustainable. Almost every week, our coaches have conversations with Halftimers whose callings are on hold because of a big disruption in their family.
Many Halftime alumni were fully present with their family and don’t look back with regrets, but nonetheless see their adult kids being influenced by our culture and want to reorient the family to Biblical values.
We can’t control our kids’ faith journey, but we can pray and be prepared. We can build trust that leads to openness and an understanding that grants permission to have these conversations.
Together we discussed how we can build the skills and have the resources at hand as we lead our families. Here are three keys to keep in mind:
1. Raising children is a journey, not a destination.
Enjoy the journey and avoid the temptation to be overly critical of your performance as a parent. Don’t lose the joy of what family is all about.
2. Become a better listener.
Often, we are instructive because we want better for our children. However, humility and curiosity are key. When we overcompensate with advice instead of a listening ear, we sometimes set the bar too high. Helping draw discovery out of our children through questions is typically a more effective strategy.
3. Love children as they are, not as they should be.
This is the way God loves us. God is redemptive and accepting, there is nothing we can do to cancel His unconditional love towards us. Our children need to feel the same way about us, because the way they view us will be the way they view God.
Ultimately, our values are more caught than taught. What is important in our lives will become important to them. What our children see us investing our time, talent, and treasure in, is likely what they will invest in one day as well.
“Crisis can be God’s greatest tool in redeeming our children. We need to step back, focus on prayer, be better listeners, and let God orchestrate the events in the lives of our children to bring them back to home base.”