Last month we talked about facilitating family conversations when the news brings disruption and divergent views.
We heard from leading news expert and Halftime Alum, Tomas Brunegård, that the news can either divide our family or become an anvil on which our faith and values are forged.
This month, we extended the conversation:
How can we leverage our leadership when our loved ones are taking different paths?
Bruce Johnston is the founder of JH Ranch in Northern California, which has provided parent/child reconciliation camps and resources for more than 30,000 families over 40+ years.
Many Halftime Alumni have taken their teenage kids on an Adventure just when they were beginning to pull away. As a result, HT couples have a deep love and commitment to JH Ranch as a place of reconciliation.
In this brief webinar, Lloyd Reeb and Doug Piper will open a discussion with friend of Halftime, Bruce Johnston, on best practices for navigating conversations with loved ones when our faith and values differ.
Our professional success often costs us in other areas of life. Perhaps we were gone a lot for business, or when we were home our minds were wrapped up with the challenges of our career. Now, as we slow down and reflect, we realize that unless we dedicate ourselves to our families, our ministry is not likely to be sustainable. Almost every week, our coaches have conversations with Halftimers whose callings are on hold because of a big disruption in their family.
Many Halftime alumni were fully present with their family and don’t look back with regrets, but nonetheless see their adult kids being influenced by our culture and want to reorient the family to Biblical values.
We can’t control our kids’ faith journey, but we can pray and be prepared. We can build trust that leads to openness and an understanding that grants permission to have these conversations.
Together we discussed how we can build the skills and have the resources at hand as we lead our families. Here are three keys to keep in mind:
1. Raising children is a journey, not a destination.
Enjoy the journey and avoid the temptation to be overly critical of your performance as a parent. Don’t lose the joy of what family is all about.
2. Become a better listener.
Often, we are instructive because we want better for our children. However, humility and curiosity are key. When we overcompensate with advice instead of a listening ear, we sometimes set the bar too high. Helping draw discovery out of our children through questions is typically a more effective strategy.
3. Love children as they are, not as they should be.
This is the way God loves us. God is redemptive and accepting, there is nothing we can do to cancel His unconditional love towards us. Our children need to feel the same way about us, because the way they view us will be the way they view God.
Ultimately, our values are more caught than taught. What is important in our lives will become important to them. What our children see us investing our time, talent, and treasure in, is likely what they will invest in one day as well.
“Crisis can be God’s greatest tool in redeeming our children. We need to step back, focus on prayer, be better listeners, and let God orchestrate the events in the lives of our children to bring them back to home base.”
Ready to put these principles into practice? Consider viewing and discussing this movie that depicts a journey of self-discovery and the reevaluation of priorities to determine what the most important things in life really are.
Interested in digging deeper? Learn how Heritage Forum Video Casts can encourage you to walk intentionally and create a lasting Godly legacy. In addition, don’t miss the chance to join Lloyd & Linda Reeb for upcoming couples retreat opportunities in Fall 2021. These experiences is designed by the Halftime Institute in partnership with Scott River Lodge, for couples who don’t just want to leave a legacy, they want to LIVE a legacy. Click here to request more info.
At Halftime, our programs bring greater impact, purpose, and joy for the whole family.
Getting connected with a group of like-minded peers and a Halftime Certified™ Coach to create a custom, holistic plan for your family’s next season of life could be a great next step.
It is our privilege to walk with leaders like Bruce as they navigate all the ups and downs that come with pursuing leveraged impact and thriving relationships. How could our support system best come alongside you?
ABOUT OUR FEATURED GUEST, BRUCE JOHNSTON:
Bruce and Heather Johnston created the Parenting Teens In Transition content from their personal journey with their children and from their experience as Directors of JH Ranch for over 40 years. They’ve seen the content transform families for decades.
Bruce, the eldest son of the 12 Johnston children, opened the Ranch in 1980 after his father, Gene Johnston, purchased the property. Since then, Bruce and Heather have grown and expanded the Ranch ministries to include Scott River Lodge, JH Outback, JH Outback International and JH Israel. Heather serves as the Founder and Director of JH Israel, which has partnered with the city of Ariel, Israel, to build the Ariel National Center for Leadership Development.
Bruce and Heather currently reside in Birmingham, Alabama. They have two children, a son-in-law and two granddaughters.
